Be Here Now.

Call it what you will. Call it the Devil, call it fate, call it a test from God. Call it whatever you like, but something is out there trying to derail my good intentions. It’s like a test to see how legit I actually am.

Being the “tightly wound individual” that I am (hey, I care a lot… about everything… don’t judge!) I booked myself a massage at a local day spa. And knowing that it takes extra dexterous fingers to unwind me I knew that I would need a little help to get the most out of the experience. People often say, “Half the battle of enjoyment is leaving your expectations at the door.” Ok, so people never say that… And did I just use “battle” in relation to “enjoyment”? Yes… Anyhoo! I got in my car, turned the radio off, and set my intention for the afternoon: Be Here Now.

Be in the moment…

Not in your head.

Not on what you hear on the radio.

Not on what that person did.

Simply be HERE.

About three minutes after pulling out of my driveway I heard a blaring horn and looked up to see some random dude coming towards me on the other side of the two-lane. He slowed – horn still blaring – rolled down his window and gave me the bird for apparently no other reason than some animalistic instinct to be annoying. Normally I would fume for several minutes over the pathetic-ness of human beings, but this time I kept my face forward and my expression somewhere between whimsical and a touch of constipation and let his sorry little rain cloud pass right on by without even stopping to slosh in the puddles. Ain’t nobody got time for a bad mood right now.

That was test #1, I think…

Coming to the spa from a different direction threw me off, so just to be sure I would arrive on time I plugged the address into Waze. It didn’t take long for me to realize that my all-knowing GPS had not one single clue what it was doing because it led me to a dead end with a fence and a NO TRESSPASSING sign and then proudly announced, “You have arrived!” like it had done me some great service. Thanks, but no thanks GPS… Have you noticed that blindly following a GPS always ends in frustration? Yeah, me too! I finally backtracked and took a chance on a road and the reliability of my car’s compass and voila! Success! And I was only slightly behind schedule. #winningatlife

In situations like this, my “self” would naturally shift my heart rate into gear five and begin obsessing over the problems of the world and how getting lost would therefore cause this problem and this problem and this problem. But not today, self!

That was test #2, I think… But test #3 was the kicker…

I bee-bopped my way into the spa and the attendant led me to the ladies dressing room to change into a robe and sandals. I was slightly overwhelmed because I had no idea how “involved” this spa massage would be so when the attendant was saying something about relaxing in the steam room until they were ready for me I think I only gathered part of the message. There was something about clothing being optional and something about hanging my robe on a hook, but then there was something about wrapping myself in a towel when I was done. Well, me being the shameless nudist (at heart) that I am, I simply stripped down and plopped my lily-white rear in the steam room. Apparently, the instructions were to wrap myself in a towel, put the robe over that, walk to the steam room, hang your robe outside, and then go into the steam room wrapped in the towel. Well, I was more like… TA-DA! I’m here! Ya know? Oops. Half a second later I’m less concerned about wearing my birthday suit in a not-so private place and more concerned about the fact that my butt has just been placed on the same tiles as however many other butts have come to this place… and without even an atom’s worth of protection between us! The room was so steamy that all I could see was four hand-sized cutouts that let a little bit of light in though smokey glass, but my “Be here now” mantra is turning into “Be at the doctor now” because I’m pretty sure I’ve been infected with something nasty that needs an immediate penicillin shot. You see, I might also be a recovering hypochondriac… (Guilty!) I’ve improved over the years, but come ON! Do I HAVE to be the first girl in the history of steam rooms to come away calm but contagious??? I was smart enough to grab my towel soon after, but I pretty much had to spend the rest of the day letting go of those germy thoughts… because they certainly weren’t serving me well. The attendant did comfort me slightly when she said that they sanitize the steam room throughout the day and that they intended for people to use the room like a nudist colony, but STILL. EW.

The moral of the story is that you have no control over what others will do…and electronics malfunction…and sometimes YOU will make mistakes… but that’s OK because YOU can select the thoughts you hold in your head. You’ve got to. You have to select your thoughts the same way that you select your clothes each day.




I think you’ll be surprised at how well this will serve you… and others.


Have gratitude, loves.


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