We are about to embark on a journey together, and I have a few things I would like to get off my chest first. I know you like to be consulted before any of our trips. In fact, I know you like to drive. You demand to drive, actually. But I’m here today to tell you that on this trip things are gonna be handled differently than you’re used to.
NO. Don’t even think about speaking until I’m finished. That was a command, not a suggestion. This is your time to listen.
There will be three of us on this trip: me, Creativity, and you, Fear. We are a family; we have relationship. And for this reason you will never be excluded from any of our activities. As such, throughout this journey I will listen to your input and consider it, as is appropriate in any team. This is important. We cannot make this journey without you. That said, you are not allowed to hold the map, make route suggestions, plan breaks, select snacks, or maintain our vehicle. Most importantly, though, you are forbidden to drive. On this journey you have a voice – you do not have a vote. The only two people who have a vote on this journey are Creativity and yours truly.
Your job all these years has been to induce sheer panic in me whenever I am about to do anything new or even the slightest bit interesting, but I am afraid that there just won’t be any time for that because we will be doing new and interesting things every. single. day. and I simply do not have time for your panic attacks.
This is why you are not allowed to drive. You are superb at your job, so keep doing it if you must, but I will be doing mine and that it working with Creativity to make the most of what God has given me. This is why we are taking this journey in the first place. You asked me if I have the courage to even make this journey. The answer without hesitation is a resounding “YES“.
You and your bestie the Terrorist are always asking me “Who do you think you are?” whenever I try something new or out of the ordinary.
I am a child of God. I am a human being made not only of matter, but also of consciousness, who has urges and impulses and desires and esthetics that allow me to want to participate in creation (of my life or anything else I desire to create in this life) as is my human right as a child of Creation. That is who I am. And what I am doing here is engaging with the experiment of my life as our Creator gives me time on this earth.
Does that answer your question, Fear?
And I know it was you who keeps spreading all that talk about me being a garbage human being. You said that I can’t do anything right, that I don’t have any talent, and that I shouldn’t even try anymore. I could be angry at you for all the hurtful things that you said, but honestly, I’m not. I know everything in this world is scary to you, and that you are trying to protect me in the only way that you know how.
You keep me from dying accidentally – I get that. But did you know that you are also inadvertently causing Creativity to choke? When you drive, he literally cannot breathe. Again, this is why you are forbidden to drive. When you drive the only things we end up doing are making money, saving money, and paying bills. Yes, I know those things are important, but they are also just plain boring.
By the way, I also know that you duped me. I thought I had a friend name Perfectionism. And we were getting along pretty well with only minimal disagreements. I thought she was helping me do my best; I thought she was helping me be my best. Now I know the truth – it was only ever you, Fear. All along it was only ever you, Fear, … in drag …complete with the makeup and the sparkly high-heels. Your covert operations never cease to amaze me.
So, that is all I wanted to say before we pull out of the driveway. Buckle up, Fear, and enjoy the ride. Our adventure is about to begin.
All My Love,
Many thanks to Elizabeth Gilbert for suggesting this exercise on her masterclass on the Calm app. And for local, eclectic coffee shops for keeping that frothy matcha coming when you need a couple hours to brain dump.