Unsteady Uproot – “Moving PTSD”- (Thursday, July 11th)

It’s me again! I know it’s been a little bit since I’ve written anything. I’ve not done much of interest over the last week. Just livin’ the dream over here. I got “promoted” at work which means I now make $1 more an hour. Yaaaaaay…. As of today I have now worked 6 days in a row in my new “managerial” position, which means today is my day OFF and you wanna know what I look forward to the most? Not the sleeping in (I work nights so I can sleep in every day if I feel like it). Not the TV binge watching. It’s the eating. I look forward to the ability to eat as much as I want and whenever I feel like it. No one is limiting my eating habits to one 30 minute break. I can eat when I’m hungry and take as loooooong as I want to chew and swallow it.

That is the life. HA.

I’m currently sitting on my butt surrounded by boxes here and there and random piles of crap. I have cleaned out, sorted, washed, and organized most of my belongings into boxes. Thankfully, I am a masterful packer. Few people seem able to pack as many things as I can into such a small space. It’s definitely an art, haha.

Last night I woke up to an episode of “2am Brain.” Surely you know what I’m talking about. It’s the brain that wakes you up at 2am with the sole purpose to strike panic into your sleeping body. My brain was like “HECK NO we are not moving! Who in their right mind moves to TEXAS?!”

This girl apparently.

Despite the calm I was feeling a week ago, I am definitely feeling the reality of my situation as I pack up my belongings. I’ve still got a few more weeks on my lease but I’m trying to get packed up early so I’m not scrambling at the last minute. Moving again has reminded me of how much I hate moving. It’s like I have moving PTSD from the countless relocations over the years. I get this sick feeling in my stomach when I even think about it. I know that change can be a good thing, and that this is an exciting new adventure for me, but I always hate the goodbyes and the startovers. Even though I’m only moving one person the process is still exhausting and time consuming and… sad. Moving means you’re leaving behind a life that you’ve worked so hard to put together. And even though good things are mostly likely to come from these new adventures, it’s still quite sad to me each time I pack up and leave.

So here I am… feeling excited and yet slightly sad while surrounded by boxes of my belongings.

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