Unsteady Uproot – “Non-attached” (Saturday, July 20th)

Not long ago a friend commented that my life was “romantic.” If by romantic he means crying over the selling of my bed frame and mattresses then, yes, my life is super romantic because for some reason I cannot get through any move without a slight breakdown.

It certainly wasn’t the mattress itself (see previous post). If there is anything that I have learned over the last 5 or so moves is the idea of non-attachment. You might have heard of non-attachment from a meditation class in relation to thoughts and emotions. But here I straight up mean just don’t be attached to your stuff.

I was not. always. like. this.

There was a point in time when I cried because I found cookie crumbs in my bed which meant that someone (not me) had been in my bed.

“Is nothing sacred in this house?!?!” I huffed upon the cookie crumb discovery.

But since then I have matured slightly and I have come closer to the realization that belonging are merely tools to enhance our human experience. They come – they go. They get used – they get broken and thrown away. They get stolen. The get borrowed and never returned. They get chewed up by pets. And each time nothing truly earth shattering happens at the loss of a thing. Some have argued with me over my view on belongings. They are deeply attached to their belonging and will not release them regardless of whether or not they can walk through their hall without turning sideways. And regardless of how high up to their ceiling their stuff climbs. They want and need all of their stuff for one reason or another.

But in my life? In my life I’ve had to live out of suitcases for months, put my stuff in storage in various states, sell stuff that simply wouldn’t fit in my car, and release things from my life before I was truly ready. This has happened to me time and time again and gradually (ever so gradually) I am becoming less and less attached to my belongings.

For the past several weeks I have been doing one of my favorite tasks, which is going through my belongings to determine what still serves me and what needs to find its way to a new home or to the garbage can.

By the way, during this clean out I watched Dr. Brené Brown’s new talk on Netflix called “The Call to Courage” which I HIGHLY RECOMMEND. I couldn’t keep myself from shouting “Amen!!!” all through the talk. It was wonderful.

I’ve been sorting and packing and organizing because my mom and dad have agreed to allow me to store my excess belongings at their house. So! I had to have all my stuff packed up and ready by today when my dad drives in from out of state. Everything that didn’t fit in their truck has to fit in my car (when my lease and work ends). And anything that won’t fit in my car will have to be sold, donated, or trashed.

Which is why I cried about selling my bed and mattress today… because I am so non-attached to my belongings.

Kidding. I cried because it was a symbol of home. And what I am going into in the opposite of home. What I am going into is the complete unknown. I am braving the wilderness. A wilderness I have never encountered.

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