That same friend who claimed I had a romantic life also claimed that I “go where life takes me without fear”.
Oh, how I wish that were true.
I’m terrified of a new city, new house, and having to do all those pesky things to get residency in a new state. Like what is with insurance companies that instantly bombard you the moment you move with requests for you to suddenly update, register, and pay. Like I haven’t got a million other things to take care of at the same time.
I mean, it’s hard enough to get all your stuff out of a house AND get the house cleaned much less worry about getting all the new stuff done in the new place.
But mostly, I’m terrified about the entrance exam into my program. I have terrible test anxiety. Tell me that a test will determine my future and I will instantly not be able to perform. I absolutely hate being measured. It’s as if my brain gives up right then and there.
I’m also terrified about this living situation I’ve got with a host family. Let me stop right here for some truth talk. I think when people hear about my travels, or moves, or life in general they have a very rosy idea of what my life is actually like. It’s true. I’m living my best life. BUT I DO have a lot of help.
For instance, I flew to Hawaii last year to spend some time with my brother. To the outside world this looked like some spoiled millennial with too much money and too much time off. The reality was that by chance my job ended two months before and I decided to delay getting a new job so that I could have the freedom to travel. I worked very hard to save up a travel budget the year before in order to do this (not that I knew my company would downsize, but still). I traveled with some friends who lived stateside so we rented a cheap condo together and shared a rental car. I helped said friends with a massive garage sale and their own move for two weeks in return for them paying for my housing in Hawaii and a few island activities. Also, my brother is highly generous, so he paid for every meal we ate together and let me borrow his car when I needed it.
I have done some bartering. I have had a lot of help. And I am blessed by generous people. I’m not some wealthy kid who figures all this stuff out on my own.
And the same applies for this move.
I was offered a short-term stay at a the home of an older couple. I don’t know these people at all but my parents have known them for a while and they know my extended family, so they offered to let me stay while I get on my feet with school, work, and an apartment. Their place is furnished and all I need while I stay is a suitcase, so I can lead a very simple, focused life while I am there. They have also offered me the opportunity to eat every meal with them if I so desire.
See what I mean? HELP. Lots of it.
On Saturday my dad drove FIVE hours from his house to load up most of my stuff and then drove FIVE hours back the same day so that they could store my stuff at their house until my life becomes a little more stable.
See what I mean? HELP. I get help and lots of it.
I do a lot of stuff on my own, yes, but in the background there is a whole team of people that is helping and supporting me along the way.
Plenty of people strike out on their own in a new state with a new school and a new job and they figure it out on their own in one way or another. But that’s not me. I have an intricate system of friends and family members and we work together to help each other along the way.