Not that that really matters when you are unemployed, but…
My date with my friend A was fun. We went downtown to a funky little dive that serves a massive array of burgers and tacos. You buy them in singletons and then you select your fries – sweet or non? Just salted? Salted and with vinegar? Or yuppy style which is salt, oil, and parmesan. We didn’t do much of anything but chat about ourselves and stuff our faces, but it was nice to have someone my age to have lunch with. It almost felt like I was a real adult with a life instead of a kid floundering to find her way. A is in her early thirties, been married a couple years, and has a brand new baby boy. She invited me to a game night tonight too, which is great. It’s always nice to be invited into the “group”.
I didn’t do much after my lunch. I had been fighting off a terrible tension headache all day. Even with Advil it wasn’t easing much so I pretty much just laid down and read for the afternoon. And I painted my nails. I did that, too, so definitely a baller right here. I was determined to see the Downton Abbey movie before it left theaters, so I booked myself a ticket and did the whole hair, makeup, clothes thing and took myself on a little date. To be completely honest it didn’t start out as a self date. I invited several others to join, but some hadn’t seen the series and others didn’t seem motivated to sit down and buy a ticket, so I didn’t press the idea any further. By the time I booked my ticket there were only 4 seats left besides the very front row.
I’m trying to be a better friend to myself. I intellectually know all of the things about being single like… it’s a blessing and there is freedom and that I need to get a handle on my loneliness problem now and that marriage doesn’t fix problems and that life isn’t all about finding “the one” and that there is no perfect person for you and blah blah blah. But I can’t help but miss the intimacy of having a partner. Someone who checks on you. And cares about wether you are late. Someone to share fun with. Someone to talk to. Someone to hug and kiss and cuddle. We always want what we don’t have, right?
I’m well aware that I move around too much to actually have a “tribe” to do life with, but I’m trying to remedy that. I’m committed to this being here for at least 3 years or more. That might not seem like much to some of you but when you move 1-2 times a year that seems like an eternity to a commitment-phobe.
ANYWAY. I was planning on doing paperwork for school all day but my social butterfly brother texted and asked me to drive the hour to his house to hang out in one of our favorite parts of his city. Hint: it’s where all the rich people live. It’s the place where people casually shop for Louis Vuitton on their lunch breaks. For some reason I’ve chosen my hand-me-down crop jeans a tank top and Chacos to wear today so heaven knows I’ll blend right in. HA