It’s late and I just got home from a Bible study that I almost didn’t attend. My stomach was hurting from junk food and honestly I was feeling a little braindead from completing my second day of work. But…I did go. And I’ve been pleasantly surprised with this group. It was quite discouraging attending one of the other bigger churches only to realize that they are more interested in talking to each other than they are talking to someone new. Thankfully this group has been different both times I’ve visited. It’s smaller, but so far better.
People everywhere are trying to figure out why of all of the cities in the world why I chose to move here when I know no one and had never even seen the place. Honestly, it’s just one of those weird…things that happens. I’ve gotten into the habit over the last few weeks of pausing to stargaze before bed. I’m kinda out in the country now until I find a place of my own so there are very few lights around which makes the sky absolutely stunning. Looking up at all that reminds me of how small I am. In a good way.
I could talk for like an hour about how I thought about this this and this and that is why I ended up in this town, but honestly it was kinda a whim. It was a random connection that my family made who passed that connection onto my sister who passed it onto me. And that new connection was a stranger but they offered me a bed for a little bit while I got on my feet. There was a PTA school here, yes, and the school was on my list, yes, but other than that I was truly walking blind here.
I keep reminding myself that I “committed” to being here. No more “one foot in – one foot out” like I have been so many times before. I am here and I am creating some stability here. Although my school advisor has been a little bit of a dream crusher since she strongly advised against me applying for the 2020 medical program… I am still plowing through to my goal of becoming a PTA. I’ve got a steady, well-paying job that will work with my school schedule. I’ve got two semesters worth of prerequisite classes lined up. And I’m looking at a condo and a house tomorrow to decide which one suits me and my goals best.
I think it’s important to be flexible on journeys like this, but I also think it’s important to put your foot down and tell yourself that you are in it for the long haul. No place is going to be a perfect place to live or go to school or work – it just has to get you closer and closer to your goal. And that is going to look different in each situation Such as…. The condo has less space than the house, but it’s also $300 cheaper so I could put that $300 into savings for school. Make sense? Regardless, still gonna look at the house, haha.
I know I haven’t talked much about school in the last little bit and that’s because not much has happened. The priority deadline for my FAFSA is October 14th so that’s really the only deadline I’m working with right now. I’m focusing hard on the new job and getting housing. I need to save every penny if I’m going to be able to pay for tuition in the spring without using my emergency fund. And I need housing by November 1st because I only asked this couple for two months worth of housing. On top of that I’ve gotta scrounge up bedroom furniture and a bed since I sold everything before I moved down here. So since PTA school is quite far away, it’s gonna be on the back burner until the first of the year.
One super sucky thing about supporting yourself with a full time job is that you can’t do all of the things that you want to do. I HATE that I had to give up my volunteer job as a therapy aid at the horseback riding center. HATE IT. I only got to do 2 sessions. But since I’m currently under contract until my first 90 days of employment is over (after which I move to salary pay and a significant pay increase) I’m not allowed to alter my set schedule AT ALL. Unless I am sick I am allowed no alterations and no leave days. Understandable and all, but still unfortunate.
Better sign off. Morning comes early.