Unsteady Uproot – “Never have I ever…” (Wednesday, December 25th)

Never have I ever… spent a Christmas all by myself before. Last year I went from having family AND a boyfriend to spend the holidays with to this year being stuck in Texas and being totally, completely alone.

It’s been weird. Not bad, but weird. Mostly because it’s 75 degrees out and I’m alone and there are no presents and no “Christmas morning” to look forward to, so it feels like I happened to have the day off today like any other Saturday or something.

I’m definitely in a strange place over here as I try to find the balance between being myself and being comfortable with being alone and searching for/ pushing myself to create community. Yes, I did get a couple of invites to join other families for Christmas day. But am I the only one who finds these gatherings a little awkward? Like, these families have formed this entire day around their family and you are not their family… I don’t take it personally, it’s just the way families work. So if I am going to be invisible at someone else’s home why not just be at home and be by myself? I have definitely accepted some invitations – yes. Because if you’re single and you don’t have family or friends nearby then what exactly do you have? And you can’t spend too much time alone or you’ll get real weird real fast. HA

I made some award-winning cinnamon rolls for brunch. They are perfection. I’ve been swooning over them all day. I snapped this pic right after taking a bite so you could see how perfectly delectable their innards are. I used Pioneer Woman’s recipe, but honestly mine look way better than hers, haha.

Overall, I didn’t plan much for the day. Although I would have preferred to be with family for Christmas, I’m still quite content to stuff my face with cinnamon rolls while watching movies in my little house. I did get out of the house a little earlier to watch Little Women at the theater and that was nice. Although, I’ve been in a crying mood so I spent much of the movie sniveling and dabbing at my face with my sleeves.

Anyway, I just wanted to pop on here to remind you (and myself) that you will not die if you are left alone for the holidays. Plans some things. Eat some foods. Chill some. Hang out with people if you feel like it – or stay home if you feel like doing that instead. I don’t really think that humans were meant to be alone for long periods of time, but sometimes it happens and we just gotta live our best lives regardless.

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