Never have I ever... spent a Christmas all by myself before. Last year I went from having family AND a boyfriend to spend the holidays with to this year being stuck in Texas and being totally, completely alone.
Last week I was invited to my first party since moving here and – I kid you not it – according to the thoughts that were racing through my head it was as if I were in eighth grade again and preparing for a very important event that would subsequently determine my social standing for the rest of the year.
If there is one thing that I have learned over the last 6 days in this city, it’s this: it will not rain when you need it to rain. I’ve heard we’re in a valley. And that there is some sort of “dome effect” around the city. The sky may turn dark and the wind … Continue reading Unsteady Uproot – “Desert Love” (Saturday, September 14th)
I woke up to the lowing of cattle, which means that I have officially arrived. I have arrived in the land of palm trees. Of vast open ranches. Of dense shrubbery. Of oil pumps bobbing up and down. Of cool mornings and blisteringly hot days.
There is always some level of grieving that happens in me each time I pack up and leave some town or even simply move farther away so that I know it will be more difficult and costly for me to visit. It's strange, I know, because the time was so brief (9 months) but each … Continue reading Unsteady Uproot – “Love, me” (Thursday-Friday, September 5th-6th)
It might be unkind to refer to someone simply by their age, but it seems to be the qualifier that sticks most easily in people's minds.
I wrote this WEEKS ago, but never got around to putting it up on the blog. It was dark and sleeting and we were bumping along the highway in a giant truck while pulling a trailer and...I started writing this to help pass the time. But I got suuuuper sleepy, and was yawning, and bleary-eyed, and we were getting major feedback from the empty 20 foot trailer behind us so it was the craziest most random jumble of thoughts in a Word Document. Hopefully its in some semblance of order now. Enjoy.
I always seem to lose it on the therapy couch. There is something about a safe space, a neutral third-party, and a fresh box of tissues that just makes me… tell the truth. I tell the truth with my thoughts, my emotions, and my words. Tell the truth. Tell the truth. Tell the truth. Tell the truth.
Sometimes someone hurts you in just the right way and day after day it... hurts. And then days turn into weeks and months and years and by then it’s a precious wound. It’s a heartbreak you can’t let go of because it hurts too good. After all, that pain has been yours for so long that it’s practically a part of you.
Some people will tell you that there are no second chances in life. Those people lie.