In case you got the wrong idea let me set you straight right now: I am not truly adventurous.
All this newness has been weighing on me. Don't get me wrong, things are great - really great - but in the end all the changes and the "not having a place to call my own" is doing some damage. Definitely feeling some sadness and anxiety about everything. Speaking of new things, I absolutely HATE that I have to pay to drive on roads around here... And the longer you stay on that particular road the more they charge you! I have GOT to get one of those toll passes.
I was crazy nervous. No doubt about that. My voice was definitely shaky and my breathing was definitely not zen in the least, but somehow I held it together and I did the thing.
Two things still confuse me about this state: 1. Why are there so many toll roads? And 2. If Texas is the only state in the country to have 85mph speed limits, then WHY are there so many people that go 10mph UNDER?
I could talk for like an hour about how I thought about this this and this and that is why I ended up in this town, but honestly it was kinda a whim. It was a random connection that my family made who passed that connection onto my sister who passed it onto me. And that new connection was a stranger but they offered me a bed for a little bit while I got on my feet. There was a PTA school here, yes, and the school was on my list, yes, but other than that I was truly walking blind here.
Sometimes I feel like my brain likes to play nasty tricks on me just for the heck of it. Like last night. I honestly believe that it was like, "You know what would be fun? What if we took a stressful situation from memory and we'll throw that into her consciousness while she's sleeping. Then she'll wake up and not be able to go back to sleep! Muahahahahaha!"
Notes during observation of Patients "A" and "B".
"Ok, Universe. I took a leap. I left everything behind that was safe and comfortable to move somewhere I had never seen before in order to start my life and career over. Now it's your turn, Universe. WHERE IS MY EASY BUTTON???"
If you remember correctly, I'm living temporarily with an older couple who has an extra room. I'm currently free-loading because they have refused all of my attempts to pay rent, utilities, etc. I think I'm gonna start stocking the house with random things like toilet paper or milk just to contribute something at all. Not that that makes up for much...
I get up around six and walk until my Fitbit beeps “2 miles”. I grab the paper from the holder and head inside to stretch and listen to podcasts until my lovely host family wakes up. She grabs the cereal and I warm the muffins. He pours the milk and I brew the coffee. We say our usual “good mornings and how did you sleeps”, but before long we’re deep into our breakfasts and our pick of the various puzzles in the newspaper. They are more of a “word puzzle” type of couple – I more of a "numbers puzzle" kind of person, so while they unscramble words and devise phrases to describe a featured cartoon, I solve the daily Sudoku.